| You're a god, and I am not |
[05 Aug 2005|07:18pm] |
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mood |
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 Cold, yes, I do get cold |
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music |
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Everything you want- Vertical Horizon |
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I haven't really updated in a few days, so I figure I might as well get to it. No, I really don't feel like going into life events at the moment, so, nothing about school and what not, sorry folks, you'll just have to deal with my incomprehendable and pointless rants. Ok, so, where do I begin? Should I rant about lies and false shunnings? Perhaps of the idiocy of people which I have lately borne witness to? No no...I don't feel like such rants at the moment..Perhaps I could rant about..uhm...my own life? No...don't feel like that right now either..Not that there would be much to rant about, my life as of late has been constituted of only like...3 things, a place, a hope, and above all else, a person. And, much as I would like to rant on these 3 things, 1 is just boring..and the other 2 I'm afraid I have no right to at this moment. So, sorry everyone. Oh, however, I will go into this. I'm getting irritated with people accusing me of being upset/pissed off/sad. Ok, now, if I were acting that way it'd be understandable, but I'm NOT. I'm sorry everyone, but if you think my entries are me being upset, then you just need to accept that you're wrong. And for those who accused me of being pessimistic and angry/upset...I'm really sorry, but, I was TIRED, I had ALOT of HOMEWORK, I had SOMEONE else on my MIND who I WANTED to talk to, and I was ANNOYED. There, glad to get that out. Now, if you would all kindly take the time to read this. I do not get upset or sad, or angry (Well, angry, yes, but just like I normally would, which isn't often unless it's something severe) I'm sorry everyone, I realize it must be such a disappointment to you all to hear that Chris is not a sulky guy, I guess it was just easier to tell me you want nothing to do with me and that I'm annoying when you had a viable reason. So no, I don't get like that, I really don't, I've just kinda blocked myself off and am keeping myself from feeling those things, I'm not saying I've done so perfectly, yea, when I get over stressed I relapse and such (I'm working on that by the way) But when you people keep accusing me of it, I'm not relapsing. And yes, it does irritate me, cause anyone who knows me knows I hate to be told what I feel or think, unless you're right, in which case I'll usually admit to feeling whatever. Anyway, I think I'm going to shut up now, I promise the next entry will either contain another chapter, or will include me not ranting about people irritating me. To those I care about may you find the happiness you all seek, to those who would rather have my hate...I have nothing to say to you.
With a shimmy shimmy and a quarter turn, (Me? Shimmying? o.O...haha, sssccarrryyy)
The ever Hopeful Reaper
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| Lustful Sentiments |
[03 Aug 2005|07:42am] |
First day of school...
Awaiting Lucifer to pick me up...
Because my mom forced me to accept him as a ride instead of driving myself...
A thousand curses upon her...
All the drama now to be dealt with...
Lost in thoughts of the past....
Upsetting dreams last night...
I better be in journalism...
And I'll kill someone if I end up in Latin 3 AND German 1....
Damn Sonic the Hedgehog...
His Music is addictive...
This is entirely random...
Not to mention pointless...
Not that I really care...
I'm surprisingly awake...
Gotta go
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| Loathing Love |
[01 Aug 2005|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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Ohio is for lovers- Hawthorne Heights |
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What is up with me and the pointless as well as oxymoronic subjects? Oh well, doesn't matter...I'm really worried right now, not going into details, those who are involved are aware of it....I worry too much sometimes though, I think I'm just jumping to conclusions though...I hope I am...Well..I'm going to go get some more rest...I'm coming down with a cold and I need to be sure I knock it out before it does become anything severe..I'm gonna make a phone call later though if I don't get a ring from someone soon...Well, later everyone.
Sincerely,
Worried and sickly Death
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| Fuck caring |
[31 Jul 2005|01:06am] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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music |
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Tie her down- Senses Fail |
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Ok, I'm just going to write a quick entry, to those whom believe me gone, HA!!! As if, I don't sleep, and especially not when I'm this fucking pissed, mostly at myself. Let's see, where should my story begin? I ended up going to Local Palooza against my better thoughts, I figured I'd end up screwing up someone's night somewhere along the line, haha, boy was I right!!! Well then, shall we begin?
Upon arriving at Local Palooza I ran into many people I know, Love, Kim, Spyke, Jase...And then the rondom tackles and such from people such as Isaac and Bruce..then the guy in the pinkshirt whom knew me but that I have no clue who the hell he was, nor do I have any idea now. Oh, and Clara and Trista of course, I spent a good part of the night talking to them, Clara stole my overshirt when it started raining, not that I cared, the cold and rain felt good. Well then, shall we get onto that which overtook and made my night bad? Yes, I think we shall. Now, I have a friend you may have all read about earlier, not sure if I have much on her in here, but her nickname is Zero. Well, you see, she has this ex boyfriend whom she is still talking to and such, after he outright betrayed her and then broke up with her, for whatever reasons apparently. Well, allow me to tell you all this much at first. I have good judgements of people, I've made judgements which have seemed completely off the wall and proven to be nothing but correct on people, and my judgements on this guy being a liar and a cheat..well they were well founded when the asshole cheated on her and such. Anywho, Zero was there, and so was he. So, when they started hanging around eachother, I took Zero aside and told her it wasn't good for her to be around him if she expected to get over him, she told me she knew, then after alittle more talking walked off, right to him, haha. So anyway, events transpired and what not. And I caught sight of them walking off in the way of a playground, all aloen together and all...my first instincts were of course to leave it be...But I had already had bad feelings and what not, and I was under some impressions regarding things, such as Zero saying she was "ready to do things she hadn't been before" And from what I had gathered from Her...it truly did seem that he had broken up with her for her not having sex with him, and that she perhaps was saying she would. Now, don't get me wrong, Zero is no slut, she isn't a whore, she's nothing like that, I wouldn't have anyone say such a thing about her, because I'm afraid I'd have to slap them for insulting her like such. I do however know that she is "in love" with him and wanted to be with him, and I do know that she would be willing to extend their relationship, perhaps not that far, but well, it doesn't really matter. Anyway, I asked Danielle, one of Zero's best friends, if she had seen her, she said no, and I admittedly jumped to the conclusion that they had beeen going off to do something, not necessarily sex, but even them kissing or such I knew would lead to her being hurt, so, I decided to look for her. Danielle went to the conclusion of sex, which I did tell her I doubted, but seeing as I didn't know, she did have merit to think such, so no blame is to be put on her for such. Well, then she decided to get Kayla, another of Zero's friend's, and Gene, yet another one, to help in the search. I had broken off from Danielle before she even did this however, so whatever she told them, one cannot hold me accountable for, though I'm certain they are. So anyway, I found Zero and Michael at the park where Zero told me they were playing, and left as soon as I got there pretty much, well, then Danielle and all of them came up while they were leaving, and confronted them. And therein the rest of the night I was shunned, haha, not that I care. Well, anyway, upon arriving home I have spoken to Zero online, Danielle is with her too apparently, and none other than Michael himself decided to get my sn and speak to me as well. Well, all the blame has been rested in me, fine fine, I don't care. It has been requested of me not to be involved, very well then, I'm no longer involved. But, I will end this simply with this, I warned Zero before of him, and she shunned me. Yet again I have given Zero warning, and yet again I have been shunned on a more massive scale, Pray to god I'm not right this time. Because I'm tired of being here, and I'm tired of being told I'm a fool and a liar. So, when she gets hurt, there won't be anyone permitted to say I didn't see it coming.
Well, that's the bad part of my night, but I really did have some fun, so, if anyone cares to know, please feel free to ask me, perhaps I'll write it in another entry soon, right now I'm rather irritated though. So to those of you I care for, may your dreams be sweet and your days always enjoyable. To those who would have my disdain, may you burn in the infernal blazes of your own sweet hells.
Love Always,
Your Dearest Reaper
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| The worst is over now |
[29 Jul 2005|12:39pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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The Hell that is my life- Zebrahead |
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Don't anyone ever say that. Eh..the moment you do you're damned to find matters growing worse than originally thought they were. I'm going to keep this entry brief, or..at least I think I'm going to. My family despises me seemingly more now than is normal for them, I'm running on no sleep, I feel like hell, I can't stop wondering and thinking and making myself feel down. I don't know why, it's just that...everything I've been thinking of I can never find theh idden quirk in it..I can't find the scenario that leads to...to..I don't even know where to...I'm so confused right now..I don't even know what has me thinking so much! No..maybe I do..but..I just...I need to stop thinking on things, I need to just go with things to "roll with the punches" as it's said. I don't feel sad..I'm just upset...I'm just stressed out..I'm just confused on where to go..what to do...I hate this feeling..I've only known one feeling worse than this.
*sigh*..I guess if I got some sleep and all...thought with a clear head...maybe I'd figure things out...I ended up over here at John's last night, which accoutns for my lack of sleep...and probably some of my sour mood right now...Not going into all of last night's events, if you want to know..ask me when I'm awake to type them out for you...I feel like such fucking hell...I'm going now..*sighs*...Bye everyone.
Sincerely,
Your hellborn and fucked up Reaper
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| Bittersweet Reality |
[28 Jul 2005|04:43am] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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music |
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Our Lawyers made us change....- Fallout Boy |
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it's almost 5 and I'm completely awake...not good, I've only got a week before returning to the hell hold, I have to get back into a normal sleeping pattern...I'll work on it later though. Ok, so, I'm pretty stressed out nd confused over some things tonight, see my earlier post for just alittle bit of the things. So, how do I work on relieveing the stress? I've been head banging to music o.o yes, that has been my attempt to clear my head...Now, let us discuss why this was a bad idea...You see, my head was injured not too long ago, and while I have healed up almost completely, my head has been adamant about the idea of healing. So now in the place of frustration and stress, I have a tremendous headache...which seems to pulsate...not...fun....And so, while I have yet to draw the conclusions to everything stressing me out, I have reached one useful conclusion "Head banging while injured is downright stupid" You would all do well to remember that.
Oh, and for some who may be wondering, I do know how to head bang, I was raised on rock and what not after all, but I don't do it often, just at times where I don't care enough not to do it. Well then, that said...back to my music...with no head banging o.o
Sincerely,
Pained and Forgotton Sirinji
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| The Humor of the Situation |
[28 Jul 2005|12:05am] |
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mood |
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cynical |
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music |
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Follow- Breaking Benjamin |
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I think I'm growing to become more and more keen on oxymorons. Though, for myself, there is some humor to my family situation. Let's see, I'm going to try to sum this all up as much as I can. Nathan and I got into a little spat, wherein he called me a "Conceited little bastard" and I told him to leave my room, he denied, and in the end said he was going to tell my parents that I was telling him to get out, and so he went out and did so. My parents called me out, I gave my side of things, Nathan constantly accusing me of lying, my Dad asked Lance what happened, Lance said exactly what I had. Sorry Nate! 'fraid it's impossible to avoid what's coming to you when you screw with me! Well, anyway, in an act of dramatics Nathan turned to accusing my parents of doing nothign for him, yadda yadda, Nathan left, I went for a walk because my mom was accusing everything of being my fault with him leaving. My Dad eventually drove up and picked me up, then we drove aroudn searching for nathan, didn't find him, went home...Around 10:30 my mom left, then returned with Nathan yet refused to come inside, Dad went out and spoke with her and she left again. Then she came back, told my dad she no longer love's him, yadda yadda, they got into it and all. And at this moment my mom has returned to the living room and is having a heart to heart with nathan. Yea, that sumarises everything more or less. So on to other things.
My Muse is upset with me...And I'm not going to say it isn't merited, because it is justifiable for her to be upset with me. I'm really sorry though ;-;...I had my reasons, I just...oh well, it's the past let it drop, if she wants to talk about it then we will.
Well, that's about all of the angst within my life at the moment. Is it sad that only the smaller part of that angst, that which is said in the second segment, is what matters to me? Personally, because of my feelings towards my family, as opposed to my feelings towards my Muse, I don't think it's sad at all. Oh well, until next time everyone. Chapter 4 is under construction, promise.
Sincerely,
Annoying Reaper (I just feel like I'm annoying right now is all)
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| ..I find it interesting how my results change with my mood.. |
[27 Jul 2005|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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 Tired..and thoughtful.. |
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music |
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In the sun- Joseph Arthur |
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 | You scored as You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday. You are "You're So Last Summer" by Taking Back Sunday. You are deeply in love - whether the person returns the feelings or not. You are overly emotional and will do almost anything in the name of love. You are a great friend to those around you because of your caring nature.
Save Me - Unwritten Law | | 95% | You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday | | 95% | Minority - Green Day | | 90% | Buried a Lie - Senses Fail | | 90% | Feeling This - Blink 182 | | 80% | Cute without the 'E' - Taking Back Sunday | | 80% | Home - Three Days Grace | | 75% | Too Far Gone - All American Rejects | | 75% | Work - Jimmy Eat World | | 65% | The Middle - Jimmy Eat World | | 65% | Helena - My Chemical Romance | | 60% | You know what they do to guys like us in prison - My Chemical Romance | | 60% | Burnout - Green Day | | 30% | </td>
What emo/rock song are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Ok, there's one..now let me get the other equal percentage information...
 | You scored as Save Me - Unwritten Law. You are "Save Me" by Unwritten Law! "You can't save me, You can't change me" You've done things in your life that you can't let go of. You are your own person, you are very caring, and it's not surprising to hear you say "I'll do what I want."
Save Me - Unwritten Law | | 95% | You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday | | 95% | Minority - Green Day | | 90% | Buried a Lie - Senses Fail | | 90% | Feeling This - Blink 182 | | 80% | Cute without the 'E' - Taking Back Sunday | | 80% | Home - Three Days Grace | | 75% | Too Far Gone - All American Rejects | | 75% | Work - Jimmy Eat World | | 65% | The Middle - Jimmy Eat World | | 65% | Helena - My Chemical Romance | | 60% | You know what they do to guys like us in prison - My Chemical Romance | | 60% | Burnout - Green Day | | 30% | </td>
What emo/rock song are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Ok..looking as these two...it's kinda freaky..they're both interlinked..and true...*looks down*..I'm tired...I'll be going to sleep now...and dreaming...I hope..
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| ..yea yea |
[26 Jul 2005|03:27pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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You're my Angel- Unwritten Law |
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..I'm suffering from a severe case of writer's block at the moment everyone...sorry...I promise you that as soon as I'm able to think of writing I will get chapter 4 to you all...till then I leave you with some quiz results....*sigh*
 | You scored as Buried a Lie - Senses Fail. You are "Buried a Lie" by Senses Fail. You have most likely been cheated on or betrayed in the past. Giving forgiveness and trusting people is hard for you, but you would do anything for the people you care about, you would protect them no matter what. You will get violent if anyone tries to hurt them. You are a wonderful person to have as a friend, but try to keep from getting a short temper or being incredibly stressed.
Buried a Lie - Senses Fail | | 95% | You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday | | 90% | Too Far Gone - All American Rejects | | 80% | Feeling This - Blink 182 | | 80% | Minority - Green Day | | 80% | Cute without the 'E' - Taking Back Sunday | | 80% | Home - Three Days Grace | | 75% | Save Me - Unwritten Law | | 65% | Helena - My Chemical Romance | | 65% | The Middle - Jimmy Eat World | | 65% | Work - Jimmy Eat World | | 55% | You know what they do to guys like us in prison - My Chemical Romance | | 55% | Burnout - Green Day | | 25% | </td>
What emo/rock song are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
There...live with those...*sigh*
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| Sacrificial White Boy |
[25 Jul 2005|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Free Fall without a Parachute- Senses Fail |
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Well, I figured I should give you all alittle update on my life before getting to chapter 4. Yea yea, save the bickering, I know all you all care about is the story, but remember, this is a journal, meaning that it's not just for my story in progress, tsk tsk, I tell ya what, don't you all recall back before the story when this journal was just occasional updates about me? What do you mean there was no life before the story! yes there was!...Ok, sorry, I'm done. Well then, tonight it appears I must take the place of sacrificial white boy and work as a waiter at a banquet tonight at a church...fun fun...I hope I don't get shot haha. I suppose I wouldn't care so much if I were being paid and hadn't simply been thrown into working it by my dearest mother. Eh, shej ust randomly comes home one day "You're doing this next monday" Excuse me? I'm doing what when? Says who? But of course, I had and still have no way of getting out of it, I'm capable of walking decently well now...I have to sit down after alittle bit though or it starts hurting alot in my right leg...but oh well, I'll deal right? Well, I suppose that's all I really had to say, the next post (Which will probably be tonight when I get back) Will include chapter 4. Patience everyone!
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| You didn't think I'd forgotton did you!? |
[25 Jul 2005|12:55am] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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You're Cute when you Scream- Senses Fail |
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Well, I think I've kept you all waiting for long enough, so, without further delay, I give you the third chapter.
Chp 3. English Snag
When going through life one always comes to the conclusion that there will be good days, mediocre days, and bad days. And if someone gets bored enough they will usually look back and start labelling each day as such. Now, I've never been one to do such things, I've never looked back on days or events and considered them to be anything more than a regular day with it's normal ups and downs. Admittedly, I'd had my share of bad and good days, but I figured ultimately everything just kinda ran together into life and cancelled out. Well, as I look back on everything, I've come to the conclusion that, good as the day had been so far...it definitely turned bad....
My next class was English with Mr.Sparrington. Mr.Sparrington was by far my favorite teacher, he was just one of those cool teachers that as long as you do your work and all, he would help you out with a few points and what not. And of course, he was a natural story teller and joker, there wasn't a day since the beginning of the year that I couldn't recall him telling us about his friend in college and their Potatoe launcher, or about tricking their Hindu friend into eating cow or such. He was just your overall awesome guy. One thing about him though, he LOVED to have his room at Sub-zero temperatures...but yet the guy could normally be found in short sleeves and occasionally even shorts. And if that wasn't bad enough, anytime he walked outside, if the temperature went above 60 he would complain about how hot it was. No one really knew why he was so used to being in the cold, alot of people thought he grew up in Alaska or something, but he would never really talk about anything before his college years.
After battling my way through the mass of bodies crowding the halls I found my way to outside of Mr. Sparrington's classroom. I immediately prepared for the burst of cold as I walked through the doorway and into the classroom. Nevertheless, I wasn't let down, as the cold air encompassed me I felt an involuntary shiver pass through my body, starting from my chest and moving out to my arms and legs. my teeth clenched in an effort not to let them chatter I take a quick look into the room...and my eyes halt as I catch sight of Jeslyn shivering and rubbing her arms and legs together in an attempt to get warm. I couldn't help it, as I caught sight of her I just looked at her for a few moments, my stride becoming slow as I made my way over, she hadn't noticed me, in her desperate attempts to warm herself she was looking away from the door and down at her desk. I don't know what came over me, but I watched as she moved one leg over the other, shifting them with elegance..and for a brief moment my eyes went wide..what was that black concealed in the blue of her skirt? Had I just accidentally caught a glance of her...."Oh Leon...." A warm and friendly voice broke my thoughts.
Remember where I mentioned that my day got worse? Well...that would be...right about...now.
I paused instantly, right in the front of the classroom, and everyone turned to look up at me. I had no idea what was going on, looking towards the voice had came from I recognized it to be Mr. Sparrington's, "Leon, I most certainly hope you're not that glad to see me today," Mr. Sparrington chuckled and gave a goofy grin to rival that of Vince's, "Sir?" I muttered through clenched teeth, and turned my head as I heard giggling from some of the girls sitting grouped together, it's then I realized that everyone in the room was looking right at me, those of the girls who were not giggling had their lips pursed in attempts not to start and the guys were all joking amongst themselves. I still had no idea what was going on, and I tried to hear what was being said by the guys, "Leon, would you care to...examine your...person...alittle better?" Mr. Sparrington chuckled again and the grin only grew wider. And my eyes grew just as wide...I immediately looked down to see that my zipper had come undone...I felt the heat grow in my face as I hastilly reached down to my zipper and pulled it up, unable to believe that this would happen to me...why did it have to happen rght in front of the new girl too!? How would I be able to call her later tonight now!?
But, as fate would have it, this was not to be all of my humiliation for the moment..as I pulled the zipper up my entire body seized up in pain...I suppose I had been going, maybe alittle too fast to take into consideration certain issues...and so one could say Mrs. Lingo's prediction of a "Snag" was not far from the truth. As I fought back tears I heard the entire class burst into laughter. I managed to fix the problem with a quick re-zip of my zipper...and I proceeded to make my way over to my desk....staring down at the floor in shame...the moment I made it to my desk I quickly buried my head in my arms upon the desk...How could this happen to me? I'd never had such a thing as this happen...I'd never been so thoroughly humiliated..I could hear Jeslyn beside me giggling...and after class had started and the initial laughter had ended with a quick lecture from Mr. Sparrington on manly issues and how he himself shared my pain...which I must admit did put me in something of a better mood...I looked up to see her staring straight at me, giggling and smiling slyly at me. I immediately moved my head back down, the cold no longer an issue to me as the heat from my embaressement was more than enough to drive it from consideration.
It was then that I heard that soft voice whispering to me, "Well Leon, I think I'm going to rather enjoy this class if it means getting a show like that everyday," I didn't dare look up, knowing that she was poking fun at the still well formed wound of shame, "Oh, and I don't mean the hurting yourself part," She giggled and I bit my lip...Yea right, she found it just as humorous as everyone else, I knew she did ,"No, I'm talking about your little...well..shall we call it a showing?" My eyes flew wide in the darkness between myself and the desk...you had to be kidding me...she couldn't have been able to tell..."So..tell me..what caused it? You don't seem the type to just...suddenly..." She went into a fit of quiet giggles...and I went into another fit of embaressment, she must have noticed..."Oh..but then we've just met, I don't suppose I should be asking," You're right you shouldn't be asking! I thought to myself...though I knew I was amazed at how straight foreward she was being..it was like such things were no big deal to her..it was...oddly attractive to me...Not in the sense that she would be a slut, I was certain she was nothing like that..but just that she could speak so openly..something I'd never been able to do, "Aawww..come on now..won't you look at me?" I dared another look up from my desk, to see her smiling from her seat beside me, my immediate reaction was to duck my head back down...but her smile was oddly drawing...I didn't want to look away...even though she was shivering and huddled together trying to keep herself warm..her smile was so warm...so beautiful..I allowed myself to shed alittle of my shame..and lifted my head to her, "Well now..at least you're looking at me now," She beamed at me precariously as she shivered, "Your friend Vince, did he give you my number?" I opened my mouth to speak..my mind running rampant, was I really gettig over my shame like this? It wasn't like me...I shouldn't speak to her right now..."W..Well...heh...y..yea..." Her smile brightened and she whispered after another shiver, "good..I hope you'll give me a call later if we don't have anymore classes together, your friend, Vince, told me some about you..I'd really like to get to know you better," I knew I had just turned another shade of red and forced a smile, "...Heh...well...I'll try..." I kicked myself mentally...why could I never think of something better to say? Vince would have said something so charming he'd have her off her feet with it with just that much...And then I recalled what Vince had said jokingly about me seeing her panties...and then my mind went back to a few moments ago..and as I looked at her the red in my face brightened, causing Jeslyn to giggle...but I was glad when she didn't make any comments about it, "Well..I'll be expecting it...it's so cold in here..." She whispered with another shiver. I watched her..and then pulled off my blue and white stripped over shirt and handed it to her, she gave me a questioning look and I forced a small sheepish smile, "..It's alright...I'm warm enough..." She smiled at me as she used the shirt to cover herself.
"HEY! Leon! Don't tell me you're dropping me for the new girl!" I heard Mr. Sparrington shout and I jumped quickly and looked at him, his goofy grin plastered back on his face...in some ways he reminded me so much of Vince, "Sheesh, and after I really thought we had a connection..." Mr. Sparrington managed the most convincing crestfallen look that I had to smile, even though everyone else had remembered and were now laughing at my earlier..misfortune, "Well then, if you all wouldn't mind, and yes Leon that means you too, let's continue with our lesson...." I looked over to Jeslyn as Mr. Sparrington went off into his lesson again..and seeing her laughing smile I somehow got over the new rush of shame.
It wasn't long before the class period was over, I waited until everyone but Jeslyn, Mr. Sparrington and myself were left in the room to get up...just in case I should have a repeat case I thought to myself. "Now Leon, I expect you not to give a show like that every day we get a new girl," Mr. Sparrington commented as I stood, I managed a feeble laugh and murmered, "Won't happen again sir..." Jeslyn only laughed and made her way to the door, then paused and looked to me, my overshirt draped over her shoulders, "oopps, I'm sure you want this back..." She commented as she shifted her shoulders lightly to indicate my overshirt. I took a quick glance over to Mr. Sparrington whom had suddenly become immersed with a paper upon his desk, "heh...no..it's alright..you can hold onto it, I'll get it back later.." I murmered and watched as Mr. Sparrington broke into a large grin. Jeslyn smiled at me and walked out slowly. "Never thought I'd see the day Leon..." I heard Mr. Sparrington mutter. I forced a laugh and walked to the door, "Do me a favor though if you would Leon," I paused and looked back to him, "If you're going to be putting on such shows, at least let me know in advance so I can get my stack of ones ready for you," Mr. Sparrington's grin widened...and I couldn't help but laugh, "Will do sir..." That said, I made my way out of the classroom, and back into the battlefield of the hallways....
End Chp. 3
^_^ I like my new character! Well, this chapter really must be dedicated to my Muse. Thank you so much for the idea Lea...Well, let me know what you all think!
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[22 Jul 2005|04:20am] |
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..heh...I wouldn't know
XD I put this one up strictly for that last part..to find the holy pencil eh? I thought I'd already found it! ^_^ oohhh, suppose not, I must get a specific one then mustn't I? hhmm, I can only think of one pencil more sacred than the one I already have, and that alters hhhmm <_<. ^_~ (Only one person knows what I'm talking about XD)
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| A tale of love and loss, of Happiness and Sorrow... |
[20 Jul 2005|03:52am] |
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 what? never seen it before o.o |
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None, just the fish tank |
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Haha, hope the title didn't excite any of you, sorry, no stories from me, just a little update for you all to survive off of. I know some of you are probably getting rather impatient about chapter 3 of my story..but..lot's of things happened and that'll be delayed awhile longer. Uhm...yes..it's almost 4..and yes, I did go to bed..but I soon woke up when something of a bad dream, no, not a nightmare, just a bad dream, it involved rats and artificially made lava...care to hear about it?..Well then you'll just have to ask me yourselves, cause I really don't feel like typing it up right now. Ok...I really should go back and lay down...my whole body feels like it's on fire...not fun...so, I'm going to leave you all with a little thing I did a while back, and that's to leave a few little comments meant for specific people but not to tell which is meant for who...but hell, I know from experience at least 1 person will find out what goes to who oh well, I'm doing it anyway.
1. You are dead the next time I see you, I'll teach you to steal from me!
2. I WAS!!! OK!? GOD!!! You already criticise me enough, so can you blame me for not wanting to tell you!? Not like it was my fault though....
3. "Ya! ya! ya! ya! ya!" XD
4. You know...it's ok that you can't say some things, I understand heh..and I love the new name! And, YOU ARE NOT BORING!!! So anyone who said such deserves to be slapped ^_^
5. You know what? You can go to hell, I'm tired of dealing with you, it's not like I can control things.....
6. I AM NOT WOLVERINE!!! ;-;...though he is admittedly cool >_>
7. Your drinking habit is weird >_>...though some would call it cute...
8. ..Shimmy..Shimmy...Quarter turn....o.o....I lurve you...^_^..second meaning >_>
Ok, I have 1 repeat person haha...and I was going to write one for myself..but..ehh...I'm not in the mood...ok, back to bed for me, night everyone.
- Sirinji
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| ..pain... |
[19 Jul 2005|01:20am] |
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I'll be- Edwin McCain |
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Ok everyone...I figure that I need to update. First off..allow me to point out the fact that it is 1:30..and I should definitely be in bed considering the events which occured recently. I'm in so much pain it isn't even funny...physical pain that is...and no, I'm not going into it on here, if I haven't told you then that means you're one of the people that I decided not to tell for my own reasons...I don't want to get a bunch of crap started with people wanting to take care of me or anything...in fact I don't really want anyone knowing it even happened because I just..don't/can't deal with all the questions and everything right now. So, just wish me a speedy recovery and that things go smoothly so that it's not necessary for anything to go public to everyone I know. Anyway...ok...there really isn't an anyway...other than the event which took place I really haven't had anything happen which is notable to anyone other than myself...so...I suppose that's my update, bye everyone...I'm going to go rest...I'm so terrified of tomorrow afternoon.....
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| XD!!! |
[15 Jul 2005|05:50pm] |
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This was just too funny not to post
 | You scored as Sex God. You are a master at sex. You make your partner weak in the knees, and you know it. You've had the practice, and you've read the books, but don't get too cocky (pun intended) or you'll get put into place.
Sex God | | 90% | A Slave To BDSM | | 88% | A Romantic | | 83% | Virgin | | 63% | </td>
How are you in bed
created with QuizFarm.com |
ME!? Are they insane!? *cracks up*..aahh..many thoughs going through my head..lilith...
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| Ever so elegant aren't we? |
[12 Jul 2005|03:54am] |
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Love will tear us apart- Fall out Boy |
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Well now, I'm making this update to first off notify you all that if you've been reading my story I will be alittle late in chapter 3, it'll get up soon enough I'm sure, I don't think I'm going to drop it, though events are transpiring to slightly make me desire to.
Well then, on to the other reasons for this update.
I'm fed up, and yet at the same time amazed, with what all you all are capable of. It never ceases to amaze me the amazing intricacy of the tangled weaves of lies and deciet every person seems to love creating, and while some are not as fluent and capable as others, they needn't worry, for where their skein becomes torn there is bound to be another to wrap their own lies around and protect it. Am I saying that I am innocent of doing this same practice? No, I realize that I too do the exact same thing, but I do not do it to those who are undeservant of it, I do it to the people who do it to me. But I'm tired of it, I've been played for the fool lately, and I'm not doing it anymore, I am not the manipulated but the manipulator, I am not the weaved but the weaver. So go ahead, lie to me all anyone desires, try to play me as much as you all would like, bur know the only one to be fooled is yourselves in doing so. Because I'm not sitting idly by as you weave, I'm standing above you, guiding your hands and manipulating the very strings you place. So go ahead, by all means, please do try to make me your fool, I've lost too much, more than is fair, and what I have left none of you can take from me...but know I will take everything from you.
Sirinji moment there...I'm just really tired of everything, and I just keep discovering all of the little lies, the manipulations, everything that everone tries to pull over on me, and I just want you all to know it's pointless, I'm not going to keep letting myself be your fool, so either stop...or I'll begin to weave my own webs...
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| Got a little treat for you all |
[11 Jul 2005|05:05pm] |
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Angel of Mine- April Sixth |
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Ok, here's the deal, I was wondering what you all think of this, it's not done yet, but how does it add up as compared to the story I'm currently writing? Better, Equal, not as good..you know, just be honest got it! I hate people trying to spare my feelings or whatever other nonsense.
Intoductions
My name is Eric, I'm 15, and that is all I will say of my outward being. I feel the details of my appearance are insignificant to both you the reader and myself. I will though, tell you of my inner self. I, like every other human being on this earth, was born with a gift. The gift to create. Some may say it's a blessing, but to me, my will to create presents itself as an undying burden.
When I create, I write, writing is the root of all my frustrations. I write of worlds that will never be. I write of people who always find some happy means of an end. I suppose in my times of anger, I only wish that I could have the perfect life of those in my stories. Not this time though, for this is my life.
Only a few years ago I moved to some no name small town where I have met my only string of sanity, my friend, Lynn. Lynn was one of the most interesting creatures you would ever have been blessed to meet. Outspoken but shy, she seemed to almost have two different sides once you got to know her. She carried an odd appearance that made her the single most beautiful beings to ever walk upon this earth. Her hair was of the darkest night that would flow graciously down her back like a cloak of darkness. The eyes that she had looked as if to carry a dark depth of unspoken horrors, and often I found myself lost in trying to discover what all was hidden behind them. Lynn had the body that any woman envies and the perfect unflawed skin of a newborn. At times I would wonder if my friend was an angel fallen from heaven, as she was so perfect in mind, body, and soul. Her heart so pure, her mind so swift, she was perfect.
I never would have suspected that a person so sweet and perfect could find their way to me. During my first week of school in my new town, I kept to myself and didn't bother anyone. I had always been a loner; I always assumed that I would always be that way, and that no one really wanted to talk to me anyhow. However, by the forth day of my arrival Lynn was out to prove me wrong.
I had been sitting alone in the cafeteria when she first approached me. At first I didn't even realize that there was another person sitting at my small table, I was bent over my notebook writing of some fairytale notion that I've long since discarded. "Hello," her voice came like a heavenly song that startled me from my preoccupied state. I looked up at her and my mouth fell open. I'm sure this appeared extremely rude, but I had no idea what was going on. Why in the name of the god in heaven, that she was obviously blessed by, would this angel be addressing me?
I cleared my throat, "Uh…" My voice seemed to be lost; I cleared my throat again, "Hello?" I couldn't remember when my voice had become so high pitched.
She giggled, "I haven't seen you around here before. You must be new, what's your name?" As she spoke again I struggled to keep focus, but I'm positive my eyes glazed over in awe. It took me a few moments before I remembered that I was asked a question. My name. What was my name? I'm sure by this point you're all thinking 'Oh god the old "I can't remember my name" gag again', but I swear to you its no gag. This girl, this angel, had stolen my thoughts and I had no recollection of my name at all.
"My name…" I squeaked again, damn it when did this squeaking thing start, and how had I failed to notice? "I…really…don't know…" I kicked myself. That was the stupidest thing to say. Why had I said that? I knew my name. Eric! Eric, its Eric you idiot!
"You…don't remember?" She giggled again. She was laughing at me. Way to screw it up again, I thought. "Well, I remember mine. My name is Lynn, and it's a pleasure to meet you no name" The fact that she even continued to speak was a miracle in itself, at least in my opinion. I never did understand why someone so beautiful had the patience to put up with my stupidity; in fact I still don't to be entirely honest.
Eventually I remembered my name, and eventually I stopped squeaking. Soon I was spending every waking moment I could spare with her. She was my everything, my dark angel.
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[11 Jul 2005|04:03am] |
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Grand Theft Autmn- Fall out Boy |
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ok, it's 4 in the morning and I'm so freaking BORED. I'd like to continue with chapter 3 of my story, but I'd really rather wait until tomorrow to get that written (tomorrow meaning after I sleep and wake up) I don't know, I know I could write chapter 3 and all, but that would defeat my ideal of writing a chapter a day...I can't give the few readers I have too much for fear that they'll lose that sense of longing for it. So, what to do then? so far I'm preoccupying myself with getting new songs and listening to them..though I need to find the names of some bands I've never heard before...hhmm...Ah well, suppose I might just go to bed...Well, later everyone
Sincerely your ever hopeful friend,
Sirinji
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| Dun dun dun...Chapter 2! |
[10 Jul 2005|10:04pm] |
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Jimmy Eat World (Not sure of the song name) |
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Ok, few quick notes, Gary has been renamed Vince, and Claire is now Jeslyn, Jes for short
Chp 2. Reflections
It's odd how one can go through life with a set impression of himself and everything, but can have that entire image shaken up by the smallest comment. It kind of makes you wonder if there really is a such thing as a set definition of anything, I mean, after all, the moment someone else comes along who's opinion holds more weight than you, they can basically define anything and have their definition held over your own. Regardless though, the simple fact of the matter was this, my entire self image was shaken to the core in that moment. What did she mean I was "Cute"? Did she mean like a puppydog cute? Like a personality cute? Or did she mean to say that I was cute in the way that I could be potentially attractive? I was amazed at myself, it wasn't the first time I'd recieved a compliment..but for some odd reason this one actually hit me and forced me to think. I normally wasn't one to really care at all..it actually weirded me out pretty badly.
"Leon! You're doing it again!" Vince's voice yet again snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked over at him, hoping I didn't appear to be in as much shock as I was, "Dude...you look like you've seen a ghost, something weird happen with that Jes girl?" I cursed myself mentally, I hated that about myself, I always seemed to wear my emotions on my sleeve, it made things far too easy to tell about me. "Say, where did she go anyway? Why aren't you like..walking her to her classes or something, it's so obvious you think she's hott." Again with the mental cursing, "..She erm, went upstairs man..I'm assuming she already knows her way, she seemed pretty sure of where she was going," I replied, forcing my face to cover the shock. Vince laughed, "Got a look up that little skirt didn't you? That's why the face I bet," Vince slapped me on the back and continued, "It's times like this I'm proud to say you've been learning from my example, it's ok though, you can save all the thanks and praise, the simple donation of 75 cents so I can buy a drink will do," Vince grinned at me and extended his other hand towards me, "Oh yes, of course my lord Vince, I have been learning from watching your most gallant example and did indeed prove myself to be as much of a womanizing pervert as you are by looking up the skirt of a girl I just met," I shook my head and stared at him, his grin only widening, "Glad to see you're admitting things! Most guys go into some pathetic denial stage. I say, why should they? It's not like it's abnormal to want to admire such beautiful things....now about that 75 cents.." I laughed and dug through the pockets of my loose cargo pants, finding 3 quarters and handing them to him, "Here, now don't say I never gave you anything..and I'll see you upstairs in Mrs. Lingo's class..."
That said I moved quickly upstairs, dodging around random people socializing and what not within the halls. I could recall back when I was a feshman, trying to maneuver through the thick crowds of people with a huge pile of books stacked in my arms, needless to say, it was next to impossible. Of course, as one goes through the years you begin to learn some things, like, if you want a clear path, but a potentially slow one, follow one of the big guys as everyone tends to part to let them through...and of course watch out for Dirty Harry, while he may be the biggest of the guys..he also is unfortunatly one of the worst smelling people around the school. Legends told of him stepping into the gym while the football team was working out and causing them all to pass out from his mere stench..supposedly causing a few weights to be dropped on each of their heads, rendering them no longer intelligent enough to win a football game. And while in truth the football team was not full of the A and B students...and seeing as to how their current record was 0-0-6...I still didn't take any such story as true, and fortunatly the closest whiff I'd recieved of Dirty Harry in my years at the school was only across the hall while he was walking into his Economics class.
As I reach Mrs. Lingo's Math class I take a deep breath, and step into the room. Now, I'm sure you're wondering why the deep breath, no no, Dirty Harry wasn't in the room or anything, it's just that there are a few things you have to understand about Mrs. Lingo. You see, Mrs. Lingo is a self-proclaimed psychic, and being such, she tended to burn incense which she claimed would clear her senses as well aso urs and allow her psychic abilities to manifest...which to this day meant her walking up to random students and informing them of crackpot things such as "You'll find true love next week at the annual carnival" or some other Mrs. Cleo bullshit...And not mention the "incense" tended to smell peculiarly like the remnants of last weeks Cafeteria meatloaf...very unpleasant. "Leon!!!" I winced as I heard her shrieking my name from across the room the moment I walked in, her voice always had the low scratching of nails on a chalk board and when she yelled the sound tended to intensify. I turned towards the robust woman, she was of course wearing her normal attire of a purple silk like dress, which always looked like hell on her I might add, and had at least 2 rings on each finger, "...Yes Mrs. Lingo?" I replied politely, knowing that my annoyance was obviously written all over my face. "Leon! Come here! Quickly child!!" I winced yet again..god damn..why couldn't she just say it instead of shouting it? At least then I wouldn't feel like the insides of my ears were being ripped open...I walked over to her in a hurry before she could yell at me again, "..What is it Mrs. Lingo?" I asked when I was close enough to her to make out the freakish symbols drawn in black all over her dress. "Leon! Your fate has met a snag! Someone's line has become intertwined with yours and if you don't sever the connection now your entire future could be destroyed!!!" I raised a brow, "My fate...has met...a snag?" I asked..trying to sound as believing of her as possible, "Yes Leon! It has! Your entire future is threatened! You must do something about it now!" ..Right...the woman is completely and totally insane..."Uhm..yes Mrs. Lingo..I understand..I'll be sure to erm..work that snag right out..." I murmered incredulously, "Good...good...You be sure you do that..now go take your seat" Mrs. Lingo answered with a relieved sigh.
I made my way quickly over to my desk in the far back, shaking my head as I sat down...the woman was insane, Grade A Commitable insane at that, what the hell was she babbling about my future being in danger? I had to wonder how the hell she made it through the teacher screening process, I couldn't imagine why anyone would hire such a fucking nut to be around teenagers, she obviously couldn't handle it.
It was only a few moments before Vince walked into the room, lookign right at me with that fool grin across his face, "ooohhh Leeeeoonnn...Guess what I did for you!?" I watched Leon as he made his way over to the desk beside me and sat down, the grin on his face only widening, "What did you do for me?" I asked cautiously, it wasn't often that Vince did things for me without desiring something in return. "Weeellll," Vince took a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and waved it in front of me, "The panty girl that you're so interested in, well, I happened to see her in the hall, mentioned that you had an interest, and she so generously gave me her cell phone number to give to you!"
Now, let me ask you all a question, have you ever seen a deer when it's about to get hit by a car? The entire thing freezes up, it's eyes gone wide, and it can't even react...I imagine that's how I must have looked. "..Y...you...did..what?" I managed to squeak out after a few seconds, "Dude! I got you her phone number man!" Vince replied, "Don't waste this man! She's fucking hott! If I didn't know you were interested then I'd be all over her!" My eyes must have grown 10 times wider from what they were, "..Vince...I'm..going..to..kill you..." I muttered...I couldn't believe he'd do that, I couldn't believe he'd tell her I liked her, I didn't even know her for gods sake! "Dude, you know you're happy for this, don't give me that crap, here," Vince tosses the paper onto my desk and smirks, "Just promise me you'll call her and give it a shot, it's about time you grew up and became a man, just like your good friend Vince here," Vince winked at me and then reclined in his desk, waiting for the day's lesson to begin so he could take his normal nap.
I picked up the folded paper and pocketed it..I still was in a state of disbeliefe that Vince would have gone and done that, what was I going to say to her now if I called her!? "Oh, I'm sorry about Vince saying I like you..I really don't know you that well..you're really pretty though" Jesus...I was going to kill Vince when we got out of school. Mrs. Lingo stood and began her lesson, and I simply laid my head down and blocked her out for the day.
It wasn't long before class was ended and I'd drawn a few conclusions, I might as well give the number a try, hell, maybe Vince was just playing a joke on me? And even if not, there was no harm in a phone call right? I was certain I could get everythign straightened out. As I stepped out of the classroom I heard Mrs. Lingo shout out to me in that wretched voice, "Leon!! Don't forget! Sever the snag!" I didn't even bother to reply.
End Chp. 2
Woot! So what do you all think? Is it as good as chapter 1? Be sure to let me know!
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sirinji's journal
